5. One Thing: Comfort

I fly to the closest airport to the school I was visiting: it was still several hours away to the school from the airport. I am exhausted. I try not to look as the driver continually drives against oncoming traffic which includes animals, motorcycles, trucks, and other cars. I’ve always survived in this type of traffic before, I reason.

I arrive at a Christian ministry serving children and local communities through education and other forms of Christian service. I am shown my living quarters: a hostel for girls from a variety of difficult family circumstances.

I crawl into bed underneath a mosquito net.

Several hours later I wake up and go the adjacent room, unable to sleep due to jetlag. 

I spend a couple hours journaling and praying.

I walk back into the bedroom. I slip under the mosquito net and continue to attempt sleep.

In the morning, I attend the school I’m considering working at. I am very impressed by the students: their kindness and respect, as well as the school’s organization, the school's loving and dedicated teachers, and strong leadership. I take pictures and learn as much as I can about the school. Maybe the Lord is calling me here?

*

That night I lie awake on my bed, mosquito net swaying from side to side as the fan drones on. I can’t sleep. All I can think of is: how can I say no to this opportunity? And yet, at the same time, how can I say yes?

Lots of children to love. A community to serve. I thought this would be easy… I had wanted to serve here for so long. 

The realities of living in another culture with far fewer of the material comforts I was accustomed to were staring me straight in the face. I earnestly pray to the Lord: are You calling me here, Father? If You are saying yes please help me to say yes because I don’t want to… 

I read the story of the rich young ruler. I identify closely with him in a way I never have before. Am I really like him?  “As He was setting out on a journey, a man ran up to Him and knelt before Him, and asked Him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do so that I may inherit eternal life?” 18 But Jesus said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘DO NOT MURDER, DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, DO NOT STEAL, DO NOT GIVE FALSE TESTIMONY, Do not defraud, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.’” 20 And he said to Him, “Teacher, I have kept all these things from my youth.” 21 Looking at him, Jesus showed love to him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” 22 But he was deeply dismayed by these words, and he went away grieving; for he was one who owned much property.

23 And Jesus, looking around, said to His disciples, “How hard it will be for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 And the disciples were amazed at His words. But Jesus responded again and said to them, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” 26 And they were even more astonished, and said to Him, “Then who can be saved?” 27 Looking at them, Jesus said, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:17–27)

Yes, I determine, I am like the rich young ruler. I look at the reality of choosing to move here. I knew that living there would mean giving up many of the material comforts I was accustomed to in America.  Father, maybe I could just give money? Maybe I do not have to go if that is okay? Maybe You are calling me to live in the USA and give money?

That seems so much better, I reason. Part of me thought, I can’t believe I am praying that. But I was thinking it. I felt like Jesus kept staring at me. Will you be like the rich young ruler? He seemed to say. 

I don’t want to give it up. I don’t want to leave home. Jesus, seriously, I could just live in America and give money to the poor?  Jesus, please make this clear. Are you calling me to stay? Or maybe be a donor in some way? 

But I do not want to be like the rich young ruler who walks away. I want to follow Jesus. 

*

The next morning, I have time to pray. I love going to the roof when I need to pray. It is one of my favorite things to do. 

I go to the roof, and I want to be alone.

I walk up to the roof and am annoyed - there’s a little girl on the roof reading. Is there anywhere I can go to get space? I am immediately ashamed of my thoughts. But, Jesus, I wanted to pray ALONE. Well, I think to myself, I might as well talk to her. I sit next to her and ask her what she is reading. She is reading a poem called “Sympathy”, which she proceeds to read to me in broken English:

I am cut to the heart; certain this moment is from God. It is as though God is speaking directly to my heart: don’t just give money! That is not what I have called you to do. Live among and befriend the poor. Love them, don’t just stand far off and give. 

The words from the Lord are clear, I think. This happened right after I asked for direction. 

To my shame, I am sad. I am sad like the rich young ruler! I am sad to give up my wealth and comfort. The great comforts found in America.

*

The girls staying at the ministry invite me to their devotional time. The girls ask me to read Philippians 2:1-11.

I try to read it and choke up. I try again and read: “Therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 Who, though he was in the form of God,

    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

7 rather, he made himself nothing

    by taking the very nature of a servant,

    being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man,

    he humbled himself

    by becoming obedient to death—

        even death on a cross!

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

    and gave him the name that is above every name,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,

    to the glory of God the Father.”

After I read the girls all start to pray, closing their eyes and pouring out their hearts to the Lord.

The Lord speaks again, I think. Oh! The beautiful faith of these girls. They have so little materially, and yet they have so much because of their close relationship with God and the love and care of the people of this Christian organization.

How can I not give up my life and humble myself like Jesus to serve these children? I am again cut to the heart. They so earnestly seek the Lord and pray to Him. I am convicted: I consider comforts in my home country as a better option than serving these little girls? Lord, please change my heart. 

This prayer time with these precious girls pushed me over the edge: finally, in my heart, I said: yes, Lord, I will go.

***

So: comfort is a gift, but it cannot be my one thing.

I do not think following God requires choosing a hard life simply because it is hard. But neither can comfort become the condition I place on obedience: God, I will follow You as long as following You does not cost me too much.

I needed to be willing to go wherever God led me whether it was comfortable or not, hard or easy. My own desire for comfort could never take the place of where God was calling me. As Jesus said in Luke 9:23, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Jesus never promised that following him would be easy. Following Christ can be costly. Luke 9:57-58 says, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head.” If Jesus is the one I am following, that may involve not having as secure and comfortable a home as perhaps I desire. Finally, Jesus calls his followers to renounce all: and my willingness to renounce all had to include my attachment to comfort and wealth (Luke 14:33).

It is not that pleasure or comfort are bad in and of themselves. But they can become idols when love of pleasure and comfort becomes more important than obedience to God. 2 Timothy 3:4 warns of being “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.” The key word is “more”. We are to love God over pleasure and comfort.

To quote Tim Keller again, he wrote, “An idol is anything more important to you than God”, and he lists “secure and comfortable circumstances” as things that can function as idols in our life. Again, comfort is not necessarily bad, but it is a good thing that can become an idol if I need to preserve it more than obedience to God. Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in his book The Cost of Discipleship “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” This fits Jesus’ earlier words I quoted: this is what it means to follow Christ. Following Christ does not come with a promise of comfort, and discipleship may require surrendering it.

Comfort is a gift. But comfort cannot be my one thing. In this story, I needed to become willing to give up comfort if that was where God led me. The question was not whether I would necessarily move there. The deeper question was whether my desire for comfort would determine my obedience.

The right response was, “Yes, God, whatever You will”—not, “I will follow You only if You let me remain comfortable.”

May Your Kingdom come, God!

Amen.