Is the Holy Spirit God the Mother? Part 4: Implication 1- Marriage and Family are Eternal

Does the Bible really say that marriage and, by extension, family will not continue in any form in the new heaven and earth? Is that what Jesus meant in his conversations with the Sadducees on this topic? If a man and woman united in marriage uniquely reflects the image of God, how could this image not continue for eternity?

Could there be marriage and family in the new heaven and new earth?

I believe when God says He will restore ALL things in Acts 3:21, He means ALL. Acts 3:21 says, “[Jesus will be in heaven] until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets.” He will restore marriage and family in the new heaven and new earth to be better than how we experience those things in this world and so these aspects of life will only be life-giving.

I have believed most of my life that this is not true and that marriage and family do not exist in the new heaven and new earth, primarily because of Jesus’ conversation with the Sadducees about how people will not get married in the resurrection. I do not think Jesus was actually saying marriage and family will not exist and will explain why.

I do not think this means, however, that everyone will be married in the new heaven and new earth. I am simply making the argument that God will at least gift this to any who desire it, as all our good, God-given desires will be fulfilled for eternity. Marriage is a good, God-given desire. Everyone will be perfectly content and happy in the new heaven and new earth. I do not think this means marriage will necessarily be for everyone, as the Bible affirms the goodness of singleness as well in uniquely imaging God (1 Corinthians 7). Before I show why I think this is biblical, it is necessary to clarify that while marriage is, I believe, an eternal gift from God for many, the marriage state does not satisfy. Only God does.

Does marriage satisfy?

No. Marriage is not meant to fulfill, ultimately, it is a way to love and glorify God just like everything else. Scripture clearly reveals that marriage does not satisfy. However, as shown from Genesis 1-2, marriage is still a unique way to image God. This does not mean that singles are less than or unable to image God. I think they are both states of being to image God. Obviously, Jesus imaged God as a single person. Colossians 1:15 says he is the image of the invisible God. So, Adam and Eve were God’s image in a unique way, and so was Jesus, a single man.

God is sufficient for the human soul apart from anything else, including being married, is shown in Scripture:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.”

Psalm 23:1

People lack nothing if they have God. They do not need to be married.

“I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;    apart from you I have no good thing.”³ I say of the holy people who are in the land,    “They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”⁴ Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.    I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods    or take up their names on my lips.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;    you make my lot secure.⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;    surely I have a delightful inheritance.⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;    even at night my heart instructs me.⁸ I keep my eyes always on the Lord.    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;    my body also will rest secure,¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,    nor will you let your faithful one see decay.¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;    you will fill me with joy in your presence,    with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

Psalm 16:2-11

Apart from God people have no good thing, not apart from marriage. God is our portion and cup. The boundary lines for Christians fall in pleasant places with a delightful inheritance, with or without marriage. There is eternal joy in God’s presence, not in the presence of a spouse.

“After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision:

“’Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.””

Genesis 15:1

God is the reward for Christians, not a spouse.

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”

Psalm 27:4

God is the “one thing” we should ask for and seek, not a spouse.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me;  he delivered me from all my fears.⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;  their faces are never covered with shame... Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”

Psalm 34:4-5, 9-10

People who are not married (or are married) lack nothing – no good thing – if they have God.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

^“Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.”

Psalm 84:11-12

God does not withhold any good from those whose walk in blameless. This is true, and has been true for the many single people now and in history who are following God blamelessly.

^“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me,    the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns,    broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”

Jeremiah 2:13

Only God is the spring of living water, not marriage.

^“Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, ¹⁴ but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

John 4:13-14

The water Jesus gives them is not marriage, it is the Holy Spirit. God is the spring of water welling up to eternal life.

“Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,⁹ for he satisfies the thirsty    and fills the hungry with good things.”

Psalm 107:8-9

God satisfies. Not something or someone else.

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.² Why spend money on what is not bread,  and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.³ Give ear and come to me;  listen, that you may live. I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.”

Isaiah 55:1-3

Again, God satisfies. Not someone or something else.

“You, God, are my God,    earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you,    my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land    where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary    and beheld your power and your glory.³ Because your love is better than life,    my lips will glorify you.⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,    and in your name I will lift up my hands.⁵ I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;    with singing lips my mouth will praise you.”

Psalm 63:1-5

And again, God satisfies with the “richest of foods”. Not someone or something else.

“As they make music they will sing,  ‘All my fountains are in you.’”

Psalm 87:7

All a person’s fountains are in God, not marriage.

“You guide me with your counsel,    and afterward you will take me into glory.²⁵ Whom have I in heaven but you?    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.²⁶ My flesh and my heart may fail,    but God is the strength of my heart    and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73:24-26

God is the one thing we should desire; everything else should pale in comparison. God is the strength of our hearts and portion forever.

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

^37 “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”

Matthew 22:36-38

Loving God, not anything else or someone else, with all our heart and soul and mind is the correct posture of worship for the Christian.

I share all this upfront to emphasize that marriage, just like all good gifts from God, is meant to be enjoyed and be used to glorify and honor God, not as something to take for ourselves. Further, I suggest here that marriage does continue into the new heaven and the new earth, and I do not want to be misunderstood. I am not saying everyone will get married. I am saying marriage is not something to cling to and even “worship”.

I am suggesting that marriage is a good gift from God where He is uniquely imaged. Upon writing this I am currently single and think all of these things are true.

God is also uniquely imaged in single people, as Paul shares in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, 39-40:

^“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. ³³ But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— ³⁴ and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. ³⁵ I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

³⁹ A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. ⁴⁰ In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”

Unmarried people can be uniquely devoted to the Lord, and according to Paul, they may even be happier without getting married.

All this to say, both marriage and singleness are good gifts from God that can be used to honor and glorify Him.

I think both states may continue into the new heaven and earth. I am confident marriage definitely will, as explained in this post. If I am wrong, God has something better in mind. There will be no pain or suffering in the new heaven and new earth (Revelation 21), so for those longing to be married: either a person’s desire for marriage will be changed, or it will be met. Just because marriage does not satisfy does not mean marriage will not exist. Created things do not satisfy; only God does, but all the other things God created that also do not satisfy will be in the new heaven and new earth.

Why is the Church so sure that marriage and family, arguably the best gifts God gives us besides Himself, will not continue in the new heaven and new earth?

Marriage and Family in the New Heaven and New Earth

Revelation 21:1-5

“Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. ² I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ⁴ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

⁵ He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:1-5 says that God is making “all things” new. God is making everything new, and marriage is a “thing”, so God it seems God will make marriage new too, along with family.

“Heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets.”

Acts 3:21

Acts 3:21 says that God will restore everything. Marriage is part of “everything”, so it seems God will also restore marriage, and by extension, family. This suggests that marriage and family will therefore exist in its restored state in the new heaven and new earth.

“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. ² Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. ³ They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. ⁴ For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.”

1 Timothy 4:1-4

1 Timothy 4:1-4 says that deceitful spirits and teachings of demons forbid marriage. Everything God created is good and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer. Forbidding marriage is demonic, and marriage was created by God. God would not forbid marriage, so why would it be absent from the new heaven and new earth?  

According to this verse, marriage is good and should not be rejected if received with thanksgiving. Since people in the new heaven and earth will be perfect and therefore receive everything with thanksgiving, they will also receive marriage, a “thing”, with thanksgiving.

“See, I will create    new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered,    nor will they come to mind.¹⁸ But be glad and rejoice forever    in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight    and its people a joy.¹⁹ I will rejoice over Jerusalem    and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying    will be heard in it no more.

²⁰ “Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days,    or an old man who does not live out his years; the one who dies at a hundred    will be thought a mere child; the one who fails to reach a hundred  will be considered accursed.²¹ They will build houses and dwell in them;  they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.²² No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat. For as the days of a tree,    so will be the days of my people; my chosen ones will long enjoy    the work of their hands.²³ They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the Lord,    they and their descendants with them.²⁴ Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.²⁵ The wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox,    and dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy    on all my holy mountain,” says the Lord.”

Isaiah 65:17-25

“Your word, Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.”

Psalm 119:89

Isaiah 65:17-25 talks about the new heaven and the new earth, saying infants won’t live but a few days, and women will not bear children for calamity. Children cannot be a reality without sex. This suggests marriage would also be a reality because God commands sex to be between one man and one woman in a covenantal relationship.

God also devotes a whole book, Song of Solomon, to the goodness of marriage, and God’s Word will be fixed in the heavens forever (Psalm 119:89) – does it make sense that everything good but marriage will continue into the new heaven and the new earth?

^27”Some of the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to Jesus with a question. ²⁸ “Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. ²⁹ Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. ³⁰ The second ³¹ and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. ³² Finally, the woman died too. ³³ Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?” ³⁴ Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. ³⁵ But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, ³⁶ and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection. ³⁷ But in the account of the burning bush, even Moses showed that the dead rise, for he calls the Lord ‘the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ ³⁸ He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.”  ³⁹ Some of the teachers of the law responded, “Well said, teacher!” ⁴⁰ And no one dared to ask him any more questions.”

In Luke 20:27-40, and comparable passages in the gospels, Jesus says that believers will not “get” married”. The Greek word for “marry” here is “gameo”, which means to “lead in marriage, take a wife, to get married, to marry”. The Greek word for “be given in marriage” is “enkamizo” which primarily means to “give away in marriage: a daughter”. Jesus did NOT say people will not “BE” married, simply that they will not “GET” married to “be given in marriage”. He emphasizes in verses 36-38 that something unique about the resurrection is people will not die. Could he be emphasizing this to point to there will not be laws around marrying different people with no death? Could he not be saying no to marriage but no to the kind of marriage the Sadducees are describing? Was the Sadducees’ question primarily about marriage or about trying to trap Jesus regarding his beliefs about the resurrection? (Marriage in heaven: A response to Tom Wenig, 2021)

The type of marriage in Jesus’ time is very different than the marriage experienced by many now which is typically for love, at least in the Western context, and not transactional and legal, which was the defining characteristic of marriage in Jesus’ time. Certainly, any marriage in the new heaven and new earth would be for love and not a “legal transaction” – again, perhaps Jesus was saying no to a certain kind of marriage relationship? Given the other passages cited about forbidding marriage being demonic and in Isaiah children being alive, what else could he mean? It seems some sort of love relationship between a man and woman will exist, and notably Jesus does not ever say there will not "be" marriage, but that people will not be “given in” marriage. Jesus may be referring to the type of “given in” marriage that was characteristic of that time, where women were often treated as property and forced into marriages. That type of marriage surely would not exist in the new heaven and new earth. But what about the type of marriage that exists now in Western culture? The type of marriage where people covenant with each other because of love? Jesus could not have been talking about that kind of marriage when he talked with the Sadducees because that type of marriage did not exist. So, Jesus was not saying that the type of covenantal love marriage that exists in the world will not exist.

Further, if who God is uniquely reflected – His image – in a man and woman in covenant relationship, based on Genesis 1-2, wouldn’t this type of relationship continue in the new world – just way better than we experience here and now? Men and women are created to image God together in unity, at least according to Genesis 1-2. God’s first commandment was for them to “Be fruitful and multiply…” BEFORE the fall. Will sex and marriage be erased in the coming world? Does it not make more sense with who God is for marriage and family to be renewed and restored, not erased? The Bible explicitly says that forbidding marriage is the teaching of demons (1 Timothy 4:1-4). If so, of course God would not forbid it in the new heaven and new earth! This does not contradict the words of Jesus to the Sadducees in his emphasis that the type of “being given in” marriage, given the Jewish law and culture at the time, will not exist. Perhaps what we see in some of the love, covenantal marriage relationships now is God already at work to “restore everything” and make marriage new. Again, “love” marriages today are very, very different than the arranged marriages of Jesus’ time. Jesus doesn’t forbid marriage, he just simply says that people won’t “get” married in the type of way the Sadducees are insinuating in Luke 20:27-40, which is focused on the laws surrounding marriage – he never says people won’t be married. (Marriage in heaven: A response to Tom Wenig, 2021)

People, made in the image of God, love romance, weddings, and most long for that in some way for themselves. People see the goodness and wonder in marriage, sex, children, and family. The church is sometimes accused of idolizing these things. These are all good gifts from God – God should come first, of course. If I am wrong about this being true, God has something better in mind, but based on His Word and who He is – is He showing us that He has something else in mind?  It seems He is showing us that He wants to redeem and restore everything in this broken world – including marriage and family. Even in a way that highlights marriage – because, as God declared in the beginning in Genesis 1-2, a husband and wife together uniquely image the two-person God, God the Father and God the Mother. With children, this husband and wife would even better image God because God is Father and Mother – so this shows explicitly that God wants to redeem and restore both marriage and family.

Therefore, Scripture shows that marriage and family will exist in the new heaven and new earth, just in a new and redeemed way.

A last note: Singleness should not be seen, per 1 Corinthians 7, as a lesser state than being married, just a different state. Singles still image God in a unique way, and each person in eternity will receive God’s best for them. I do not know how God will address divorce and difficult marriages in the new heaven and new earth, but we can rest assured that God is good and only has good things for His children. Again, we will be perfectly content and happy for eternity.